I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
