I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
