Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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