I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
