Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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