When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm at about main and main street
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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