Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
