Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize