He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize