On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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