A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
