For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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