Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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