its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
