Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
