No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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