we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
