There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
