Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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