Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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