but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The air taste purple.
Randomize
