This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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