Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
