I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
