My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
