My friends, they love my intelligence
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
