im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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