Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize