Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
