i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
