i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
