also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
