yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
