let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
