We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
