That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
