last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
