he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
