Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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