Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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