I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
