He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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