I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
