lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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