if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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