you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
