Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
