I don't usually arrange sex via text message
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
