Screwed.edu
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
