Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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