We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
