I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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