oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize