I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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