We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
