You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize