Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Randomize
