Who did Billy Mays play for?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
is it fun? or sober?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
