So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize