babies were throwing up all over the place
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
