Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
