Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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