oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
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