dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
